The way I see it

Perspective is interesting because you only get it once you change vantage points. I am in florida right now, been here for most of Feb. (I will have been in Buffalo for six days in Feb.) I spent a week in Ocala, then was home for few days then went with the family down to ft. myers beach for a week with my parents and brothers we then went from there to sarasota where we will be till early next week then back to Buffalo. Yestereday and today there has been a cold snap across the eastern part of the country. I see it has been in the single digits in Buffalo. Today it will be about 65 and sunny in Sarasota, we are trying to find things to do "inside" because it is so cold here today. If this weather was in Buffalo we would be trying to find things to do "outside" because it is so warm and beautiful. I guess this is what they call perspective. The ability to have perspective is the ability to look beyond ourselves. I remember thinking that I felt alot of pressure when I was in college. That didn't compare to when I had to work fulltime. I used to think not getting 8hrs of sleep in a night would be exhausting. Now I don't remember the last time I had that much in one night ( I went to bed @ 11:30 last night was up 2 times in the night with kids, cammy finally was up for good at 5 am so we watched Dora, a normal night for me). I thought 1 kid was too much responsibility at the time, now I have multiplied by three). I used to stress about money when I had a job, then I lost it. Getting sick or hurt with health insurance was a pain, without health insurance is stressful. What I am constantly reminding myself is to keep everything in perspective, to continue stepping back to get a bigger picture of myself and my world. I have to keep on going on trips down memory lane. I need to see faces and villages of places I have traveled. Job makes a great statement in the midst of some really bad personal stuff that is happening to him, he says "Blessed be the name of the Lord." So I try to smile, laugh, enjoy my family and friends and thank God for all of it, in the midst of all of it. My family has gone through some tough stuff in the last couple of weeks but we continue to say "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

A thousand words..

So I haven't posted in a while, the problem is I do blog, I just don't post. I even did a long entry last night called "The Biggest Loser", it is saved along with numerous others, maybe someday I will just publish them all in a tell all book. But I thought instead of not posting again tonight I would just put some pictures up from the last few months of my family.. So here it goes

Dawn

Did you ever drive all night long? I have done this numerous times traveling to Florida. The beginning of the drive is always fun, anticipation of the sunshine and vacation that is around the corner, everyone is in a good mood. Then darkness falls. The kids don't seem as cute to me anymore more whining and crying. I am starting to get sick of looking at road maps, my back and butt are starting to get sore. Then you are 4 hrs into darkness, you are in the middle of nowhere in west virginia and you think you can figure out a short cut. 20 min. into the short cut you realize you have made a mistake you are off the highway on some desolate road with no cell phone reception. Your wife is pretty sure that the family is going to end up in a made for tv horror movie in the not so distant future. You are starting to sweat because the roads you are on are not on the map, and you hear the theme song from Deliverance in the background. One hour later signs for the thruway beckon you back to civilization and you are back on track. It is 1 am now and there is no scenery just headlights, tailights and bad talk radio. You have stopped at a gas station to fill up and got the extra large overly sugared and caffeinated cappaccino. You have been snacking on sugar the last few hours to give yourself a high, now you are just sick. It is 3 am and you have hit the rumble strips on the side of the road twice as you started to doze off. Nothing pumps the adrenaline through your veins like hitting those little bumpy grooves, your wife jumps up and yells "Are you sleeping". No you lie I was just changing a cd. 4 am you want to die, you are sick and exhausted, your eyes droop as they yearn for rest. You pinch yourself, stick your head out the window, turn the air conditioning on, the heat on, slap your face, drink red bull, eat sunflower seeds, drink more coffee, but to no avail. You feel you can't go on. It has been dark forever. 5:45 a slight glow on the horizon, maybe an upcoming city. 6 am the glow is bright red, out of the east. It's over you've made it, you are still driving but now your eyes aren't tired, the kids are waking up, you start to see palm trees, your hands are still on the wheel but the scenery has changed. Where there is light there is hope. It's dawn.

naked bike riding...

Common sense is funny. Right about the time you think you have it all figured it in the realm of common sense, you realize what is "common" and what makes "sense" maybe isn't what God wants. You see most of my life so far has been scripted in many ways for me. My decisions are reactions to things that have already been predetermined. The life I was born into, "the early years of Jim", were largely set, sure I had decisions to make, and some seemed large at the time, but it all seems like prep work for where I stand to day. I went to highschool, then went to college, then started my "career", then started my family, because that is what I am "supposed" to do. Maybe I don't want to do what I am "supposed" to do anymore. Do you ever wonder if the american dream is the same as God's dream? Do you ever wonder when you take your last breath on this earth and the previous x number of years flashes through your eyes are you going to be satisfied with what you were "supposed" to do. What we are "supposed" to do for the most past involves safety and self-fullfillment. What God wants us to do involves faith and God-fullfillment. The irony of it all is that when we don't put our desires before God's, true contentment, purpose and impact are finally realized.


You see the pictures of that kid in red hair, yeah the naked one riding a barbie bike. He looks kind of silly, foolish, to us. The thing is he doesn't care, you might be distracted by his wardrobe malfunction and the color of the bike but Elijah is having the time of his life. A few months after he turned 3 the training wheels came off and he is doing something that most kids don't do until they are at least 5. He is riding with no training wheels, trying to "pop a wheelie", as he says. My hope is that what I do with the rest of my life, no matter how strange or contra-common sense it appears to the rest of the world will be amazing to God. That I will be able to laugh and enjoy the great things that God is doing with my family no matter how funny it looks to everyone else.

1 Corinthians 1:18-25 (New Living Translation)
The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God. As the Scriptures say,
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise
and discard the intelligence of the intelligent.”

So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world’s brilliant debaters? God has made the wisdom of this world look foolish. Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe. It is foolish to the Jews, who ask for signs from heaven. And it is foolish to the Greeks, who seek human wisdom. So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it’s all nonsense.

But to those called by God to salvation, both Jews and Gentiles, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength.

Anyone want to go bike riding?

eight dollar hot dog

so what do you do with that..

Change

I once spoke on the topic of change and called the talk "The Law of the Diaper", I even used my children as visual aids, changing a diaper while I spoke. There is something about change that is refreshing to me, even exciting. I am on the threshold of change right now, I am looking forward to it, anticipating it, wondering what it is going to look like. I am fearful at the same time, questioning if it is all going to work out. (Jeremiah 29:11 at least lets me sleep at night.) The fall is about change, daylight changes, temperature changes, leaves changing,.. I love the fall. A crisp fall day makes me feel alive, I guess that is why I like change it shows movement. The dog days of summer in the middle of august with high humidity and sweltering nights can sometimes get old, as we wonder if it has always been this hot and is it alwasy going to stay this hot. The middle of february with it's cold dark days has us believing that we always have to scrape windshileds and wear winter boots. But change does come and when it does it is like an infusion of life and hope and a future. With that rambling over I want to invite anyone that wants to join my family at Letchworth park this Sunday, the 23rd of Sept. Weather is going to beautiful, sunny with a high of 70 degrees. We will be going down late in the morning and spending the afternoon there, we can grill out so bring your favorite meat and a dish to pass. We can plan on eating around like 2 pm. Bring your hiking shoes, a football, a frisbee and your camera.

Check out the following site for a map of the park, I was thinking we can meet near the middle falls in one of the picnic areas. Let me know if you are thinking of coming so I can keep an eye out. http://www.geocities.com/scanman94/letchworth/Letchworth.gif ( make sure you click on the corner of the map to expand it).

Jobs!

I have had a variety of different employment opportunities over the past 15 years or so. I am currently looking for my next "big" move in terms of a career. All of this thinking about jobs has caused me to reflect on my past. The good the bad and the ugly of jobs. These things called jobs are a necessary evil. They provide income that allows my family and I to eat and have a house, car etc. and it seems everyone has an opinion on what would be "best" for me. So here it is, an introspective look into the employment history of yours truly.

Late highschool years - Dishwasher and busboy at "The Little Whitehouse"
The Good - First paycheck, got my love for washing dishes, picked on the left overs from the banquets.
The Bad - Restaurant business usually nights and weekends, pay not that great
The Ugly - Psychotic dishwasher coworkers fresh out of mental institution

College years - Security Guard for RJD security company aka. rent a cop.
The Good - Felt kind of good to have a uniform with a badge. Enjoyed the authority.
The Bad - Worked late and long hours, usually by myself, pretty boring, pay not so great.
The Ugly - Only had a mag lite flashlight as a weapon and the bad guys knew it.

College years - Summer camp counselor - Christian camp
The Good- Heightened sense of God in my life, use of gifts, really fun atmosphere, great people to work with.
The Bad - Worked all day and night almost all summer long (for 2 summers), very tiring, had to deal with homesick kids and bedwetting.
The Ugly - Pay really not so great, (first taste of ministry!)

College years - Delta Sonic - guy that drys your car off at the end of the wash.
The Good - Enjoyed the physical labor, picked up my present day satisfaction in a well cleaned car, surprisingly good pay (remember next time to tip your drier boy!)
The Bad - Weather dependent, no one gets their car washed when it is raining.
The Ugly - Middle of winter, artic conditions all of Buffalo getting a super kiss to get rid of the salt.

Post college years - C.C.A, Lew-port high, clarence high - teaching regents physics and earth science.
The Good - Finally some decent money - good hours and vacation, enjoyed finally being a "professional", actually using college education, snow days
The Bad - Pretty routine, dealing with kids that didn't want to learn and parents that thought that was my fault.
The Ugly - Starting losing passion, not excited about doing it for the rest of my life.

Post teaching years - pastor - ehwc
The Good - Freedom to use creativity and leadership skills, traveling, working with people to see how God could use them, impacting people spiritually, made lots of cool friends.
The Bad - Not the greatest financial move, realization that church is many times a business
The Ugly - The new building ate my job

Post ministry years (paid) - carpenter/construction - j and r specialties/Buffalo Custom closets
The Good - No 'real' stress, physical work, accomplishing tangible things everyday, I don't work sundays, I get to wear jeans to work (and a tool belt), awesome group of guys to work for and with
The Bad - We are hitting the slow season, work will be inconsitent, no health insurance, feel like I should be using my brain as well as my hands for work.
The Ugly - Not a career move, need to figure it out ASAP

So there it is, my job history, (along with some random stuff strewn throughout), every job has its benefits and the stuff we don't like. Should a job be a way of life? A passion? The highest paying we can find? Where we find our purpose and meaning or is a job just that, a job.

M.I.A

Yeah, I know I have been a slacker the last few weeks. But i have been very busy, I helped Jake a few days with summer survivor, running the boat on lake ontario and pulling jr. high kids around. This last week I have spent almost every waking moment over at our rental property getting it ready for Alicia to move in the next week or so. I gutted the bathroom out and laid new tile, put a new toilet in, new vanity and countertop etc. so I have been pretty brain dead by the time I pull myself in front of the computer to check email. But I would like to think I am back, I am going to discipline myself to diligent in updating this thing every couple of days, I even decided to try a new look, what do you think?

Church at my house this sunday, stars, meteor showers, and the human sprinkler.

A few nights ago we were out at my parents cottage on lake ontario and after a beautiful sunset we all layed out on the grass and watched the stars come out. It was one of those super clear nights when the sky just lights up with stars. It is at these times when I feel so small, yet so loved by God. Then Elijah took a leak on the grass right next to me, "cuz i had to go Dad!", was his 3 year old answer to why he felt the need to do the human sprinkler. Then I forgot about the stars and instead was trying to figure out if the wet grass was from dew or boy pee. I guess that is the line we straddle, one foot in worship of God and His majesty and the other dealing with the reality of this life. Stars and boy pee, both at the same time and both real. Jesus had this great ability to be in step with His father, and be able to deal with the humaness all around Him, all at the same time. I guess our hope is that the two become one, that God's majesty is seen in the everday and the seemingly ordinary. That His face and attributes are seen on the faces around us. That the two don't become separated but fused together, that we live and breathe God. That we don't have to be in a church to experience worship, or under the stars to see His majesty, but we see and hear God everywhere in everything. Moses asked God once what His name was, what he should call Him, God answered "I am".


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CHURCH AT MY HOUSE (37 SCHLEMMER RD. 14086). EVERYONES INVITED SO BRING A FRIEND

SUNDAY AUGUST 12 @ 6 PM - IF IT IS HOT BRING YOUR SUITS IF YOU WANT TO JUMP IN THE POOL AFTER!!

IT IS ALSO THE PERSEID METEOR SHOWER THAT NIGHT, SO MAYBE YOU CAN CATCH A GLIMPSE OF SOME SHOOTING STARS!

MARC SIBILIA IS HELPING TO LEAD WORSHIP, HE IS VERY COOL AND VERY TALENTED.

playing with God

Early this week Kelly and I had one of those days, one of those days when the reality and stress of it all seemed like too much. I had a job interview that went all day and felt pretty fried after, Kelly had potentially a new job that she lost out on due to a miscommunication, the kids had been sick specifically Morgan but we were holding out taking her to the doctor because of lack of health insurance, and the financial strain seemed at its breaking point. So to say the least there was a lot of tears shed that night wondering what the answers were going to be. Kelly even cried out at one point "Tell God I don't want to play anymore!"
The next evening as I got the mail I noticed a letter addressed to me and Kelly and I without a return address. Intrigued I opened it and saw a note that said "Hope this helps" signed " a family from eastern hills" and inside was a bank check larger than any pay check i have ever received. God is so good and I thank Him so much for taking care of my family and for whoever felt moved to help us out as well. I guess they call this living by faith, it is hard and it hurts at times, but at no other time is God so real. So thank you God for playing even if at times we feel like giving up and throwing in the towel.