Hi, my name is Jim and I'm colorblind..

Yeah, that picture to the left with all the dots, to me, looks like a picture of a bunch of dots. I have been told by others that in actuality there is a number that is apparent to those that don't have my "condition". I don't see it. I will never see it. I wish I could see it, I wish none of us had any deficiencies or weaknesses. My one brother is almost blind in one eye and he had to wear those goofy looking glasses that strap around your head to protect his good eye playing sports. I know someone that has some heart condition that if she stands in one place for 11 min. she will pass out. I have a friend that has almost no sense of smell another that had a heart transplant, some are too short, some too tall, and some allergic to nuts. Reality check, no one is perfect. I hate having to depend on people, especially due to my weaknesses, I hate asking "Does this match?", but sometimes I don't, then I end up looking like a clown. No one wants to depend on others, but no one wants to look like a clown either. We all have these weaknesses, some physical, some emotional, and some spiritual. The cool thing is that we also have strengths. I can smell really good. Paul writes this letter to a church in the city of Corinth reminding them that they are "like a body". Each person unique but not independent of the others, complementary and dependent in their relationships. Like the different parts of the body, ears, nose, arms, legs, eyes, all important, all needed, all different. That's what friends are for. We need each other for life, that means bring your weaknesses but also bring your strengths. Lean on others but be ready to be leaned on. My name is Jim and I'm colorblind and I hate looking like a clown. (names have not been used to protect those with issues.)

Skiing 101

Hard to believe that it is going on the end of January and I finally feel like winter finally arrived here in Buffalo. This type of weather makes me want to go skiing. I love skiing, I think I love it because it is one of those things that you never really master, just like golf, but I have a hard time being a Christian when I golf, not only don't I ever master it but sometimes I really suck, this brings out the "bad" jim, and the harder I try the worse I get on the course, so I am going to stick to skiing right now. There are two types of techniques in skiing; one makes you go really slow and stay in control, the "snowplow", and one is very fast with almost no control, what I call the "tuck and run". The snowplow is what is used the first time skiing to allow the new skier to be in almost complete control while moving very slowly down the hill. This gets old real fast. The whole point is to make it down the hill, and as I have progressed in skiing I realize that there are such small differences in angles that either keep me either upright or wiping out. The edge of the ski is where this all takes place, this is where the right amount of pressure, turned just at the right time maximizes both speed and control. It is at this place where foot meets boot, meets metal ski, meets snow that my fate is determined. I choose not to snowplow. Snowplowing is no fun. Snowplowing is for little kids and people who are scared. I don't think snowplowing is really even skiing, the way skiing is intended to be enjoyed. There is very little risk though in this technique, not much chance of falling, and when you do it doesn't hurt, but this isn't skiing. The out of control "tuck and run" technique isn't exactly skiing either, this is an out of control racing, that more often than not ends with ski's, poles, and various articles of clothing strewn up and down the slopes. No control, no ability to make changes in direction, hoping that nothing gets in your way as you careen down the hill. Our chrisitianity is lived out in that place where our personality meets God, meets faith, meets the culture of our world. This is the place where it is fun to be a Christian, where the enjoyment of seeing God interact with us, and us with our culture occurs. Is it safe? No not really, it is actually scary at times, but it is lived out in that space where all collide, us, God and the world. There is no place I would rather be than right in the middle of that volatile formula. The reality is that is where real Christianity happens, safety feels good to us, recklessness may sometimes beckon but it is in the place where we embrace the risky call of our lives into the world that is true Christianity. Enjoy the slopes!

What's that smell?

Ever since I got back from Africa a couple of weeks ago, I have noticed a not so great stink coming from my guitar case. I have been chalking it up to some sort of mildew caused by the transport of the guitar in the rain numerous times. No it was not rain but a little friend that was causing such a stink, in the corner of my case was a dead lizard. From Zambia to Buffalo. A long journey for the little guy and obviously a little to far of a journey to make alive, unless... his brothers are somewhere in my house right now.

Please pray!

Just wanted to let anyone that might read this to be praying for a pastor friend of mine named Josh Buck, out in Michigan. This afternoon while on vacation in Mexico he had a swimming accident and broke his neck and almost drowned. He is on a ventilator and in a drug induced coma as well, they are hoping to Mercy Flight him to Miami soon if he stabilizes. Please be praying for his family and his health. He has two little kids and in the last year lost his 3rd in an accident as well. His wife has been through alot and is currently pregnant again. I will keep everyone updated. Thanks for praying... for updates check out his church website. http://www.greenhouseministries.org/

Not what it seems....

"You can never know everything, and part of what you know is always wrong.
Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that.
A portion of courage lies in going on anyway." -Robert Jordan

The beauty of knowledge, and specifically wisdom, I believe lies in humility and honesty. Wisdom occurs when we can weigh the reality of opposing facts, view points, ideals, perceptions, and emotions independently of our prejudices. I have a hard time with people that know everything. You know the type of people that I am talking about, they tell you what to think and why. They tell you why you and everyone else is wrong but why they are right. I have a low tolerance for these types of people because of the ignorance that such behavior represents. I hope that I am always questioning, always open to new ideas and new ways of looking at old things. I think the lack of this type of thinking in the church is exactly what hamstrings her to the past. Can we be alright with the fact that we will never arrive. We will never get it all right, and as soon as we think we do we will need to reinvent. Why?, because we aren't the end, our ways of thinking aren't the final authority, we are part of a story that God is writing. The story of His church, the followers of the way, is in process. There has been evolution, revolution, and reformation. And guess what everyone? There will still be major changes, in theology, in doctrine, in ecclesiology, and missiology. Because we aren't God, we don't know everything, times will change, cultures will change, and the modes, methods and models of getting to know God on a personal level will change. So bask in uncertainty and ambiguity knowing that God will reveal how to reach His people for today, today and for those tomorrow, tomorrow.

Backpack (courtesy ems!)

Simpler is sometimes better. Many times the options we have just leads to a level of confusion. There is something comforting about having everything you need on your back. The necessities of life all an arm lengths away, the mobility to go anywhere at a moments notice. I have aspirations of traveling more like this in the future, (of course this will have to be solo) It is amazing how much stuff you need when traveling with 3 little kids, port-a-cribs, strollers, diaper bags. Someday I hope to do some traveling with the kids, backpack style. 5 people 5 backpacks, that would be cool. But till that day comes its me and my backpack. I would love to go back to Chabboboma, or costa rica, or the holy land, maybe see Egypt on the way, thinking about Thailand as well, Phil's been trying to get me to Burma, that would be sweet. Well next year is my sabbitical year, I think I have like a month to have a time a physical and spiritual refreshment. Maybe I will buy a ticket and see a bunch of these places, me and my backpack, if anyone has a backpack and wants to join me let me know. Some amigos to travel with would be fun, you only live life once right? Well anyways, happy Martin Luther King Day!

Pews....

I think it is interesting to think that most people associate church with sitting in pews. The pictures to the right were taken at a church where we held a new years day youth rally, in Choma, Zambia. The pews look different than my church but they are still the supposed "place of meeting with God". The problem is that pews are human made, and as soon as we relegate that to the hows and whys of meeting with God we have missed the whole point of Christianity. It is a relationship that happens everywhere, all the time, if we are looking for it. I think of this last trip to Africa, and I see where God met me and it wasn't always while sitting in a pew. It was in the back of a van talking about the dreams of reaching of world for Christ, it was staring at Victoria falls, it was lying on the ground in pain under the stars of Chabbaboma and feeling His hand take away that pain, it was sitting around with friends talking about life and where God has taken us and our hope for tomorrow. This is where church happened. I believe every conversation, every experience, every sight can be a glimpse into God. But are we looking? Or are we waiting to sit in the pew to see God?

SLEEP!!

Sleep is one of those things that I really don't understand. Why can't we just relax and lay down and have our bodies get refreshed? Why must we actually go unconscious? Sleep depravation is something that I have gotten pretty used to ever since I started having kids. It then becomes accentuated by my need to squeeze as much as possible out of everyday. This last trip to Africa was a feat of lack of sleep. Somehow I managed to drink a whole bottle of nyquil, (for medicinal purposes of course) with very little effect on my body during the trip, trying to force my body to sleep. It seemed like I was going on 2-3 hours of sleep per night, and feeling good all day. Well right this moment I feel I could sleep for a week. I am exhausted and am feeling a little sick. I have some funky cough deep in my chest that I am hoping isn't any form of TB. I was definitely in contact with TB patients while in the Zhimba health clinic and this deep chest cough isn't too comforting right now. I am still taking malarone so it shoudn't be malaria. Probably just a cold... but you never know. So much for any deep thoughts on life, better go grab the bottle of nyquil. Bottoms up!

What do I see?

Sometimes I wonder about the hindrances to true heart felt worship. What keeps me and others from experiencing what worship is intended to be? As I let the words of Matt Redman's song 'seeing and singing' start to sink in I realized that the lyrics to this song are the essence of where worship begins and ends. How often am I asking people to enter into a worship experience, the lighting, the music, the atmosphere all can be conjured up by man. Worship only truely occurs if a glimpse of God is had. At the moment we see God, his creation, his salvation only then can the essence of worship be captured. Because at that moment the reality of who we are worshipping jumps to the forefront, and we stand in awe as His light of glory covers us. Worship is a response to something we see. I am realizing that most of my worship and church worship in general is blind. It is words about a "God" that loves me and died for my sin and created the world. The moment the words jump into the focus of my reality does the glory of Jesus floor me, causing me to be facedown.

Seeing you - This is a time for seeing and singing

This is a time for breathing You in

And breathing out Your praise

Our hearts repsond to Your revelation

All you are showing, all we have seen

Commands a life of praise

No one can sing of things they have not seen

God, open our eyes towards a greater glimpse

The glory of You, the glory of You

God, open our eyes towards a greater glimpse

Worship starts with seeing You

Worship starts with seeing You

Our hearts respond to Your revelation

Worship starts with seeing You

Worship starts with seeing You

Our hearts respond to Your revelation

The Artist Known as God

While in Africa one of the questions I wrestled with was the that poverty and the reasoning for it. Why did I get to be born into suburban usa while another was born into the poorest of poor conditions in Chabbobboma, Zambia? This idea of God being a just God sometimes eludes me at times like this. But does justice equal equality? and in God's economy what does justice look like? I am not sure I have concrete answers to these types of questions but one thing I am sure of is that of God's love. God loves the world. He loves those in Africa as much as those in the U.S as much as those in China and around the world we go. All loved equally by the same God, the creator of it all. So as I stood and watched the sunset over the Zambezi River God showed me his love for the world in the form of a sunset, one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. He is bigger than poverty, he is bigger than politics, and bigger than materialism. He is most assuredly larger than any conceptions I can conjure up. But the author of love is the author of the sunsets.

The Dark Continent

Africa!

What an adventure. Just returned from my 2nd trip to the country of Zambia. It is amazing how God reveals himself in the midst of these trips. It makes me wonder if it is the trips or my heart that causes these revelations. I am thinking more and more that it is a heart issue. Not sure what this means but the implications are huge when I think of God's role in my life, here, in Buffalo NY.