cliches, pressure and the help wanted ads.

This is a weird sort of pressure this not having a job thing. This working but not really working (like what I am doing right now) thing. I have to admit it is a feeling that I haven't really experiened in this capacity, I am trying to keep my emotions and feelings in check but I have to admit it isn't always easy. This past week I blogged, posted it for like 5 min. then went back and deleted the whole thing. After re-reading my entry I realized it wasn't pretty, it was true and it was real, but it wasn't pretty. Too much honesty and openess sometimes isn't the best bet and in this case the blog had been a portal into my heart and mind and the realness that came with that. It is not that I have to be someone that I am not it's just that from moment to moment I find myself being a different person. I am finding that is what this pressure thing is doing to me. I am high then I am low and like a rollercoaster it get's tiring. It is weird in my capacity in ministry I feel like at times I have the God cliche cards in my pocket ready to hand out at a moment's notice. Short words and sayings that supposedly ease peoples minds and hearts. Maybe I am jaded, maybe I'm cyncial, or maybe right now I'm just a little tired but I am not up to cliche's today. I don't want to hear about how something is going to "fall into my lap" and how God has the "perfect thing" for me, I don't want to hear about the "excitement" others feel about my future. Maybe I feel this way because I have handed these cards out too many times myself. I am not sure. This I do know, I have 5 weeks to find a job, and monster.com, and careerbuilder.com just get me mad now, in the beginning it was exciting looking for a job now it is exhausting. T minus 5 more weeks...

Tapered Jeans and old Playdoh

So tomorrow will be exactly 2 weeks since I got the news of my position elimination. It has been an interesting rollercoster of emotion. Wondering what the future is going to hold for me, for my family, career, ministry etc. The thing about stability is that it is... stable, you know what to expect tomorrow and the day after. It is comfortable, like a worn in pair of jeans, that baseball hat that now fits perfectly to your head, the pair of shoes that you no longer tie or untie but slip on and off without bending over. I think there is a fine line between being comfortable and being lazy, because change is unpredicatble and uncomfortable we tend to scurry away from it, digging in our heels at the thought of not knowing what tomorrow or the day after might bring, fearing failure. Do you know anyone that got caught in a period of time and stopped changing? They got comfortable with their jeans so they didn't buy any new ones but wear the same highwaisted tapered jeans that were in style in the 80's, wearing the same hair style, slipping on the same ugly and worn shoes, just because they can. They get set in their ways, in their jobs, in their perspectives on life and God, even their clothes... The scary thing is that no one really wants to be like this, everyone wants to be moldable, pliable, open minded, current. But over time something happens, we find something that fits pretty good, it could be a job, a pair of jeans, or even a way of doing... church... and the thing we never wanted to become we now are. I love playing with play-doh because you can do anything with it, roll it, twist it, flatten it, the possibilities are endless. Playdoh is truly only its self though when it is being molded constantly. If left alone for a period of time it takes on properties and characteristcs contrary to its very nature, it now has one shape, stuck with that shape with amazing rigidity. Have you ever played with playdoh that has been left alone for a while, out of its container, it gets hard and crusty and tends to crumble and break when you try to manipulate it. As time stretches on and I am able to get a perspective on what has happened to me and my job and I find myself thanking God for buying me a new can of playdoh and throwing out my old jeans..

Winds of Change

Artist: Kutless

Album: Hearts Of The Innocent

Title: Winds Of Change

Can you feel the pains in life?

Wrapped around you like they're chains

Restricting all your dreams

Do you wonder if there is a way?

A way to set you free

Set you free

So tell me all your dreams

Tell me all your fears and what you're longing for the most

It's not another way that'll end up the same for it's under my control

Do you feel the winds of change

Soon this weight will fall away

And take you to a place

Only found through these winds of change

A breeze that's new and free

New and free

I'll be the one who you can cry to

The one who will give you wings

I will give wings

Someday we'll sail away

Mounted up on wings like eagles

We will run and will not fade away

Unemployed!!

So, monday night I finished my 48 hr prayer and fast. One of my pleas with God was for direction, for this is what He did in 2 Chron. with King Jehoshaphat. The whole nation fasted and prayed for direction. They came out of the fast worshipping God in song knowing that He would deliver them from the foreign armies. So tuesday afternoon I was shocked to learn that due to financial strain on the church, there was work force reduction happening and my position along with acouple of others were going to be eliminated. I guess that is it what I call direction from God! I am not mad or upset or worried. I am more excited and relieved knowing that right now I am right were God wants me to be. For those of you worried about epic at the church I am sure that the ministry in whatever form it takes will be fine. I continue to feel called to the non-Christian and to those that are unfortunate in a variety of situations. I will do what I need to take make a difference for these people, I also feel called to the postmodern culture, and a world that looks at the current institutional church with a sense of disconnect. I have some ideas and thoughts for the Missio Dei. So stay tuned in the next little bit and buckle your seat belts because things are going to get interesting. I feel like a bird that has been in a cage the past 6 yrs, singing his heart out, but the only ones that could hear me singing were those that frequented the zoo. Well the bird has flown the coop!! May the rest of the world open their ears, because this bird has a song to sing...

The Fast and Furious!

So tonight we started our 24 hr fast @ epic. I am pretty excited to see how God is going to move within our little community of fasters. As we talked about tonight at the Gathering this is about making God a priority, when God is a priority his voice is a little louder and clearer. Let me know about your fast experience. Peace, Jim

Fat Camp Anyone?

So a couple of weeks ago in the news there was a story of a mother that was at risk of losing custody of her 8 yr old son to child protective services. The interesting thing about the "abuse" is that it was her son's obesity that was the issue. He is 8 yrs old and 218 lbs. The mother essentially allows him to eat whenever and whatever he wants. If he continues at this rate there is a long list of debilitating health issues that will ensue, with a good chance of death before the age of 30. So the mother is held liable. What if pastors, and heads of ministries and churches were looked at the same way. What if we are not challenging God's children enough to be spiritually fit, and instead are satisfied with fat and happy people? If I am throwing a big party with lots of good and pleasing food I am pretty sure everyone is going to want to come, not too many people are interested in joining a triathlon "party". The reality is that if we want our churches to be filled with people we give them what they want, we don't challenge them, and we water down what it means to follow Christ. But if we want a group of people fit enough to change the world, we need to challenge, motiviate and push. I think that if all churches and ministries thought that there was an organization that was going around checking the "health" of the people sitting in the pews and that we might lose "custody" I wonder if we would do ministry different. But as long as the "children" get to call the shots, they will eat what they want and when they want and we are left wondering about a Christian society that is ineffective for Christ.

I'm back..

So, I know I have been a slacker for the last couple of weeks in regard to this blog, but hey I was on vaca. So i'm back from sunny florida and ready to go blogging. See ya soon.

Road Trip

So we made it. Left Thursday at 4 pm and we were in Sarasota by 1:30 on fri. afternoon. I love vacations, we need at times to unplug and get away from the noise of our everyday lives and jobs. At our links group last week we talked about this concept and how the busyness and innundation of distractions (schedules, cellphones, email, internet, tv, people) actually can keep us from hearing God. Vacations are a forced time of unplugging from the daily things that so often consume us. Interestingly these things that often consume us are unimportant in the eternal scheme of things. I have been self evaluating how quickly I came unplugged from work and daily life (it took me till about the Angola exit on the 90) and then what consumes my mind in the meantime. The ability to live each day to the fullest in respect to how God might have us live is found in the scriptures. We are told to not worry about tomorrow. How can I live for God today? How can I be Jesus to someone today? Our obsession with the future is one of the things that hampers our living for "today". The problem is that our culture and society are consumed with the future. While watching my kids I realize that most of their living is in the moment, it is in the here and now. I don't think I have ever heard of a kid with an ulcer? A child like faith, hmmm....

Liquid

(Before reading this go grab a glass of water) The other day I had breakfast with Isidore and we were talking about living the life that God has called us to. While we talked of our calling as Christians I looked down at the glass of water that was in my hands. Then it hit me. The thing about reaching the world for Christ is we have to be willing to fit into the world. We have to ebb and flow where we are taken in this world, posturing ourselves to the lost is not just a good idea it is the point of it all. We are to be like that glass of water. God takes that glass of water and pours it all over this lost world, in neighborhoods, in schools, in bars, the inner city, other countries, the poor, the rich, they all get and they all deserve this water. This living water, it's us, our at least it's supposed to be us. The thing about water as a liquid is that it takes the shape of the container that holds it, it slips and sinks and flows into the cracks that it is poured into and on. The problem with us, or maybe its just me, is that maybe I'm not a liquid maybe I am block of ice. Ice is rigid, it is unmoving, it is not fluid it does not flow. The only place that ice fits is the container in which it was created. Isn't it ironic that many Christians "fit" best in the place they where created, in the pews, within the church building. God takes this ice and throws us at the world and we don't fit. We bounce off the doors of our unsaved neighbors homes, the bars, those places where the lost are, we bounce. Ice is rigid, but not water, water flows under doors into houses into bars into lives. Jesus said "I am the living water", he also said "I came for the sick and the lost" and last but not least he said "follow me". So where does this leave us?
Cheers, enjoy the water.

Rebuilding the Temple

So I saw this story on the national news the other day called 'Faith and Fat'. It was pretty much dealing with this measurable trend that a large percentage of those that call themselves Christians are overweight and in many instances obese. I know that some people think I have some OCD in regards to taking care of some of my possessions, but the way I figure it is like this, if I am spending my hard earned money on anything from a car, to a house, to clothes, to a pair of sneakers, I don't see the point in treating any of it like crap. I work too hard to abuse and not take care of the object, I want to get as much use out of it as possible, neglect is just going to lead to it's loss of functionability sooner than later. It is a question of stewardship. Sure the easier and cheaper thing to do is to not rotate your tires or change your oil, but then see how long your car will be of any use to you. So why is our body, that the creator of the universe blessed us with, any different? Why when it comes to our physical bodies do many Christians turn a blind eye, to the care and preservation of this gift? Why do we eat and drink things that we know will hurt this gift, and refuse to do the things (excercise) that will preserve and strengthen it? It is a discipline just like any of the spiritual disciplines. Is it easy? Heck no. Is it fun? Not usually. Is it worth it? For sure. We owe it to ourselves, to those that we love, and most of all to God. It is a piece of our testimony to Him. So with all this said I think tomorrow I will start my physical training again. I have been sick for the past month, and been pretty drained of energy, but you know what they say about excuses. So manana I will be back at it, getting sore, eating right, all that stuff. Getting ready to do some triathlons this summer. Hey if anyone wants to start training it would be sweet for a bunch of us to do some triathlons together. Let me know.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.